Nimue’s Diary

It’s decision time again.  No, it is not about moving.  It is about taking on students.  I’ve been approached by someone I work with.  She wants me to take her and her son on as students.  I hadn’t planned on taking on anymore students after Liz.  It isn’t that I don’t want to.  I just don’t know if I’m capable of this.  I feel so disjointed.  I’m a Path Wanderer.  I don’t focus on any one Way.  I’m a mishmash of multiple paths.  So now what do I do.

What do I do?  I take a nap.  Talk about evading the issue.  Even a nap didn’t stop my thoughts.  I ended up visioning Peorth and the Wyrd Sisters.  They were laughing at me.  One called me “One of Little Courage”.  I knew exactly what they were referring to. 

In front of them was the usual pool of water.  On the surface I could see the sigil Peorth.  Looking closer, I actually saw myself with the two I was thinking about.  We were laughing while sitting under the trees.  The boy had a stick that he was waving in the air.  He was trying out his wand and of course, nothing was happening.  Dangling before me was a BOS with Peorth on the cover.  If I grabbed and opened it, I accepted the challenge. 

Sometimes you just have to sit back and think about how the various runes have affected your life.  Today I thought back on one of the most important Peorthian episodes in my life.

I don’t remember what year it was that Matt and I visited New Mexico for the first time.  We flew into Albuquerque for an ACLU conference.  With my first look at Sandia, I fell in love.  I’m sure my mouth hung open for hours.  My coming to New Mexico at that time was on the spur of the moment.  Matt was going to the conference as part of his work.  I decided to come along because I hadn’t seen New Mexico since a baby and I was curious.  So I took a chance and voila.  I looked at that mountain and felt an instant bond.  I’d never felt that way about a place before.  I knew I had to come back.  So Matt and I started talking about moving to Albuquerque.  But that was all it was - talk.  It mostly focused on when I retired which was years away.

I started looking into Traveling Nurses.  I filled out all the paperwork and even interviewed for a job in Albuquerque.  Thanks to a dare from my son, I was going to do it or was I.  I was so scared.  I might have chickened out.  After all I had been with RHGH 19 years.

Then fate took a hand - I had a terrible attack of Bell’s Palsy.  My whole right face was gone.  Nothing worked.  I thought I’d had a stroke.  When I thought back upon all the stress in my life, I was sure it was a stroke.  I really started thinking about getting out of Ohio.  But I had to make sure I’d be able to work.  After 6 weeks my face was still not normal and I had a difficult time being understood.  Only a small amount of dizziness but it was still there.  I finally went back to work.  There were some communication difficulties but I laughed them off with my patients and used them as a tool rather than a handicap.  I could work.

I got back to my Travel Nurses Agency.  The job in Albuquerque was gone.  All that remained was a job in Santa Fe.  I took it, grabbed my courage, Magick and off we went leaving Matt in Ohio to do his thing.  In about 6 months, he would join me.  The rest is history. We moved here leaving the house in Ohio empty.  I’ve found my nature soul here.  Whenever I have to leave even for a short visit back to Ohio, I feel so sad and return with tears of joy. 

So what does this have to do with Peorth?  Just about everything - Fate took me in hand, gave me a warning (Bell’s Palsy), and pushed me in the right direction.  Fate issued a challenge and for a change, I accepted it.  I could have ducked and wimped out for the rest of my life.  Instead, I’m in my beloved mountains. 

Peorth rolled the dice of chance and I bet on them.  I won!

I wasn’t planning on working with Peorth today.  But I sank into a trance while taking a bath. 

All of a sudden, Shakti was there in front of me pulling me through the darkness.  We didn’t bother with the skiff and just walked through the dark forest.  Again we came to the spring where the Norns were working.  Looking into their eyes, I knew this wasn’t just an ordinary happening.  They called me.

As I sat in front of them, I could feel all sorts of thoughts drifting through me.  I saw black and in the blackness golden eyes watched me.  I should have been afraid but wasn’t.  I knew I was surrounded by Shakti’s brothers and sisters. 

I again looked at the sisters.  As I watched, a Knight formed - not just your run-of-the-mill knight. Shaped like the chess piece, made of silver it dangled before me.  Then it moved.  I realized that its moves were the typical “L” shaped chess moves.  What the heck was this all about?  I thought some more about Chess.  It’s a high strategy game.  Now I don’t play chess.  I dabbled with it many years ago and realized it wasn’t for me.  But I did remember how complex it was.  Every move and countermove needed to be planned out. 

Aha! A light!  Life could be compared to this chess game.  There are givens.  Each person has so many pieces - no more, no less.  It is up to them what moves they make with those pieces.  BUT - these moves can be limited by their opponent.  No one has absolute control.  It’s a matter of choices…a matter of taking chances. 

Then I saw my husband.  He was standing there looking sad, smoking.  As I watched, I thought about why he might be so sad.  What was he thinking about?  Actually I knew.  He hated smoking again after stopping for several years.  He hated that I hated it and made it obvious.  He knows that lung cancer runs in his family.  This is his choice.  Do I have the right to say “no” by my attitude or do I just have the right to set limits such as “not around me”.  This is my choice and I have to deal with any repercussions.

Then a flash - I started thinking about breathing.  The taking in of oxygen and the letting out of carbon dioxide.  It is something so very simple.  We do not control the action.  It is automatic and continues until death.  So where is the “chance” here?  That was easy.  I pictured a city such as Cleveland.  I saw the haze of pollution hanging over it.  Then I saw the top of a mountain - crystal clear sky but thin air.  Then I saw the inbetween.  Clear, full air just perfect for breathing.  Now the choice - the casting of lots.  Live in the city and make money, breathe pollution.  Live on top of a mountain and struggle for each clean breath.  Or live inbetween and really live.  Some of us make these decisions knowingly throughout our lives.  We take chances on making a difference in our lives.  We cast our dice with Peorth!

Today I completed my first journey with Peorth.

Shakti and I traveled in a small boat through dark swamps. I was poling the boat and it was just her and I.  We went through hanging vines and dark waters.  The sky was black except for the full moon.  Finally we reached a shore.  All of a sudden as I stepped out of the boat, I was skyclad.  Hearing music, I began dancing and dancing until I could dance no more.  Exhausted I sank to the ground.  After catching my breath, we started down through the darkness along a short path.  At the end of the path were the Wyrd sisters.  In front of them was a huge cauldron which they were stirring.

“You come seeking Peorth.  Open your eyes. Peorth is all around you.  It is the sky above, the ground below.  It is the wind in the trees, the current in the river.  It is all colors and not none.  It is the heart inside of you, the skin without.  It is wolf beside you.  It is us and it is you.  It is the sun of day, the moon of night. It is the brew we stir, the magick you cast.  It is all.”

All of a sudden, everything was gone except a feeling of awe.

I’ve really wanted to study this rune since it is the one I am most drawn to.  I have used it so many times to meditate by that I feel like we are old friends. 

Today is Samhain when so much magick is in the air and the veil is thin.  This makes it seem especially appropriate to call upon Peorth being the rune of chance, lots, divination, and the Wyrd sisters.  This is just so awesome!

Blessed Be!

Today I am finishing up with Jera.  I feel that I have learned a lot about the true harvest which really does not concern grain or fruit crops.  It is the fertile growth of the mind and spirit.  A lifetime of knowledge grows into a lifetime of spiritual essence.  For me, this is Jera.  I look to it for fertilizing the Mother Earth inside.  When the inside is nourished, so is the outside.  Care is a 24-hour a day job which I have agreed to undertake.

Because of the time of the Year……..Tomorrow is Samhain, I have elected to skip Eihwaz and go to Perdhro.  It sings out to me!  Eihwaz will follow it……………..

Today as I was soaking in the bath, I started thinking about the sigil of Jera.  The one form uses “V”s.  The first reminds me of the “less than” sign < and the other “greater than” >.  The upper branch of > is in the space between the branches of < . 

Something was nagging at me about them.  But I couldn’t figure out what.  Suddenly the thought of aviary nature came to mind.   Although I haven’t seen it here in New Mexico, in Ohio at this time of the year the birds are flying south.  They usually fly in a V formation.  Facing East, it would appear >.  In the spring, flying north, it would appear < .  Another sign of the yearly cycle of Jera.  This even brings in the number “12″.  The two migrating seasons equal 12.

I am so smart……….LOL

On we go to crystal and herb. 

Not so easy…………I had to think about whether the crystal would be green or gold/yellow.  As I thought about it, I realized that I had to go for one of my favorites - green.  Not just any green but a bright deep green.  I pulled out my crystal chest and asked for Jera’s guidance.  My hand hovered over malachite and green adventurine.  I even thought about Jade but almost immediately decided against it.  Putting malachite in one hand and green adventurine in the other, I waited.  But not too long.  Almost immediately the green adventurine got warm.  It was as though it said “Me, Me!”  I’d found my crystal.

The herb was not as easy.  I felt that I needed to have one that was found here in New Mexico.  So I took a walk through the Nature Conservatory.  Again something jumped out at me……..I see this plant lots of places as we drive through the countryside.  Here was my chance to find out just what it was.  The tag said “Yucca baccata”.  Yucca?  That is truly everywhere.  Now to find out more about it.  Reading further on the tag, I found that it is a member of the Lily family and used for desert survival. It is found not just in dry areas but even in swamps.  It has been used to make soap, baskets, sandals.  As an herb, it can be used for food and tastes like sweet potatoes.  It can even be used as a substitute for rennet to make cheese.  As a healing plant, it is used for constipation, childbirth, emetic, gonorrhea, ritual wine, rheumatism (lotion).  It sounded perfect.  Now to ask the Goddess.

Taking my green adventurine and a yucca leaf, I placed them on my altar.  Watching, I thought I saw the Goddess smile.  I knew that I had done a great job!

No that isn’t really a mispelling.  It is a play on words, shall we say. 

Looking out the window, it came to me what the scent and tree of Jera were.  The pinon, of course.

At this time of the year (which is the time of Jera), the smell of roasting pinon nuts is in the air.  Nothing smells as sweet or yummy as fresh pinon nuts.  The nut of the pinon tree is not the only use.  The sap is used to heal wounds.  The wood makes a great smelling fire.  The Native Americans use its needles for treating syphilis.  Although havested every seven years, pinon nuts are a favorite here and you’ll find vendors on every corner during the fall.  For me, pinon is truly a Jera Tree to look forward to. 

It is a beautiful day.  Just the sort of day to go off into the mountains and enjoy the bounty of Jera.  So off we went.  Heading towards Colorado, up we went.  The air got colder and crisper.  The sky varied from a beautiful blue to a “Ohio” gray.  It varied from clear to overcast with black clouds depending on where we looked.  As I looked around me, I realized that there is more to Jera than crops being harvested, more than the hard work involved in growing these crops.  Jera is looking at the benefits of all trials.  Even the overcast skies bringing snow, sleet, rain serves its purpose.  It is this “rain” that enables the “crops of life” to grow.  All the rain in our lives feeds the internal seeds we’ve planted.  Jera is more than the golden sunshine.  It is the gray skies also.